A year ago, this week I began my journey with Stroller Strides in Castle Rock. After a 41-hour labor that ended in an emergency C-section I was laid out for the first few months with a high needs baby and postpartum depression setting in. I had a wonderful support system at home but still felt alone and isolated from the world around me. I was new to the area and didn’t know what was available to new mothers. I was cleared to work out and decided that since I was a runner prior to baby girl arriving I would just pick up where I left off.
HA! My body instantly reminded me that my body was not the same and that fast pace running was not on the menu anytime soon. I sank into a bigger depression. Not only had I lost the body I had worked so hard for before the baby, but now I felt like I would never be able to feel fit again. A couple of weeks went by and I found myself driving home one night when the idea of driving off the road entered my mind. My intent wasn’t to die, just a small accident that would get me away from my baby and husband and let me get some rest, that’s all! I immediately started crying and felt so awful for wanting to hurt my family in that way. I got home safely and told my husband what I was feeling. The next day he found Stroller Strides and shared the information about everything they offered. I felt awkward and fat. My baby cried and every other mom seemed to have their shit together. The workout was tough and I had to stop often. I don’t recall ever sweating that much in my life. Just as I felt the tears come on, other moms came up to me and cheered me on to finish the circuit. I can’t tell you how filled with emotion and gratitude I was. The instructor shared with the class that this was my first time and all the other moms cheered and shared how hard and awkward they had felt the first time they came to class. Everyone was friendly and at different fitness levels (although I thought I was the worst of the bunch). I didn’t think I would go back, but I made myself finish the week before I made any decision.
My baby cried and screamed each time I went to SS and each time the instructors held her, tickled her or used bubbles so that I could get my work out in. There were days I rocked it and others I barely finished. I stuck it out and slowly (very slowly) I started seeing changes in my body. Less pouch, more muscle definition, but more than that I felt like myself again! I went to SS to talk to other moms, connect with other moms and I learned that the moms I looked up to most didn’t have their shit together everyday. Being able to talk about struggles we had with our children made me feel so much better. My postpartum depression stopped 2 months after SS (I did also see a therapist) and I began to enjoy my baby girl.
Life today with SS is so much fun and challenging. Baby girl still doesn’t like being in her stroller but she knows it’s just an hour and then she can play with the friends she’s made as well. I have made some great friendships that I’m sure will last a life time. My fitness is back on track and I’m working hard on the last of the baby weight (I lost 8 pounds so far). Most of all I’m able to be the best mom I can to baby girl and love this new role that I was blessed with.
Ladies I know the feelings you might be having, I know I did when I first started but don’t let those get in the way of feeling better about yourself, your body and motherhood.